First Day of School

Princess and Speed Racer started school on Tuesday.  Princess goes 4 days, and Speed Racer goes 2 days.  He was supposed to go 3, but there was a mix up between me and the school, making in my opinion, both of us at fault for this mishap.  Speed Racer did not much care for Wednesday when Princess went and he did not, but we had mommy / Speed Racer time and went to the library as well.  After some explanation on my part, he said, "I go this many" holding up two fingers.  Today, he came running into our room yelling, "I wanna go THIS many" holding up three fingers.  We are hoping that he is able to go to three days in the future, but we've chosen to believe that God has placed him in his 2 day class for some reason unbeknownst to us. 

These little faces might be only loved by us, but they are our kids, and we love them fiercely no matter what.  I was chosen to be their mommy, and it is my honor to get to do it no matter what anyone says of them or thinks of me.  For the life of me, I don't know why anyone wouldn't feel the same way.  Look at their adorable faces.

Princess and Speed Racer excited to go to school

Speed Racer's first day of 3K

Princess excited to start 4K

As Princess says, you've gotta get one with our backpacks, mom.

If I could, I would...

Working from this post from Living Proof, if I could, I would...

1.  write books and make money from them.
2.  homeschool my children.
3.  go on a vacation at least once a year to a new place.
4.  spend more one on one time with my husband and children.
5.  Travel overseas.
6.  Enter a cooking contest and place.
7.  Own my own business - like handcrafted knitted/crocheted items or a bakery.
8.  Disciple someone regularly.
9.  share Christ more often.

The End of Summer

I'm having a sad day today.  It's the last day of summer.  On Tuesday, Princess starts back to preschool and Speed Racer starts preschool for the first time.  Next year, Princess will be starting Kindergarten, and I am already mourning this.  I hate it so bad.  It's a year away and I am already a crying fool, I can only imagine the heartache I will feel on the first day of Kindergarten.  It is days like today I feel so lonely and lost as a mother.  Into your hands, Lord.

I'm Gonna Do What?

As far as weight loss goes, since I posted on it, I hit a plateau and fell of the diet and exercise wagon.  So, I am getting back on the wagon, counting points and calories again and I am going to sign up for the Race for the Cure 5k in October.  My goal is to attempt to run it.  This is a very lofty goal considering I have never been a runner.  However, I am following a training plan, have training buddies, and whether I walk or run I am doing the 5k.  Plateau, you shall go away!

Looking Back

My blog is over 2 years old now. I think I have changed somewhat in 2 years.  But it is probably unnoticeable to anyone but me.  I was emotionally weak, had a very difficult season in parenting, felt friendless and lonely, struggled with relationships, wanted to be recognized or noticed by someone on the old blogosphere or world wide web, and frankly did not feel very much like me, like the me God intended me to be.  This blog helped me to give my struggles and my weaknesses to God, to search out things that I made myself numb to and to begin feeling again.  I wrote deeply personal things that I often second guessed about because 1) it was therapeutic to do so, and 2) I felt like I was supposed to write that way as a living sacrifice hoping that someone would get something out of even a life as worthless as mine.

The funny thing is that even though I felt worthless, I acted as though I was valued, and God showed me I was.  I'm a princess, and I didn't even know it.
I was weak and broken, but He was my strength.  I was made whole in Him.  Through pride, I wanted to be noticed.  In humility, I was not, but then again somewhere along the way more and more people began reading my blog.  This was both gratifying and debilitating as a blogger.
I remembered that I had a friend and Jesus was it.  I am never alone.  In the process, a broken friendship was healed and new friendships were made with people I could not imagine would ever accept me.  I don't have a great bosom friendship that I had in college - I have accepted that this is not the season of life for that.  I am happier for accepting this.  I have learned how to accept the different life seasons and still try to be satisfied.
I am more confident as a parent.  God has shown me that I am "free to be me."  I am less fearful as a mom.  I've learned to laugh and not take parenting so seriously all the time.
I've learned how to pray and how to pray for my children.
Most of all, I became satisfied with the great, not just good, gifts God has given me - three beautiful children and a fabulous husband.  I am not a Proverbs 31 woman, but I have a Proverbs 31:28 life.  Is my life perfect now?  Far from it.  But I feel so blessed, and I am stand in awe and amazement in the wondrous works God has done in me here.
I cannot believe all of the personal details I have shared with you, and I don't know if any life has been changed or touched other than my own, but thank you for reading and I hope God is seen despite all of the me I've shared.  To Him forever be the Glory,
Amen and Amen!

35

Annoying

I've been told that music on websites is annoying, so now you don't have to listen to my annoying music anymore. ;)

One fell off and bumped his head

The Friday before last, we decided to have a family night out at Chick-Fil-A.  We had not been there in a while at a time when the kids could play in the play area, so we decided to go, eat, and let them play, which is exactly what we did.  They ate, then they went to the playroom to play.  Princess came back out - she was the only big kid that day and the little kids were calling her a monster.  I jokingly told her to go back in and scare them.  She tried that and shortly came back out.  We never trade in the kid's meal toys for ice cream, but this day I thought we would try it.  Daniel was watching him from behind the glass - this particular CFA has a great view of the playground.  Princess and I had gotten ice cream, when Speed Racer comes screaming out of the playroom, "Mommy, I hurt myself!  Daddy!  Daddy!  Mommy, I hurt myself!"  . I begin to look at him.  He is crying harder and more than usual.  He is very whiny right now, but this was more than his usual whinyness.  I move his bangs and see a giant knot on his head which makes me want to lose all of my food.  I look at Daniel and tell him that we have to go to the hospital.  He is already getting Princess up and out.  I get Speed Racer's shoes and then attempt to throw some food away and then say to myself never mind.  So we get in the car and off we go to the after hours care.  Once we leave, I begin to call the after hours nurse to see what to do.  We keep driving to the after hours clinic.  I feel super sick.  We get to after hours.  Speed Racer does not want to go in.  We do.  The nurse finally calls me back and says that unless it is 2 inches across, the knot is not big enough to come in for.  So, she gives me some instructions to do to check for a concussion and then we head home.

We do not have pics of the knot when he first received it, but this is what he looked like as it has continued to heal:

Monday after the accident he begins to get a black eye.

Closer view

Tuesday after accident - he begins to get a 2nd black eye

Yes, it has looked a whole lot worse before it got better, and yes, I've gotten a lot of strange looks.

Conversation in the Dark

Mr. Speed Racer has been difficult at bedtime lately - as in he does not want to go to sleep.  You know sometimes you are so close to the problem that you don't even notice it anymore?  Well that was us a few weeks ago.  I'm not sure what happened - I guess I found him out of bed one too many times, but we began to fix the problem.  I decided to sit outside the kid's bedroom (he shares a room with Princess) to ensure we did not find Speed Racer playing in the bathroom later or who knows what else.  This is the conversation I overheard about the darkness one day this week (I especially liked Princess's response):

Speed Racer:  I need the door opened.
I close the door in attempt to keep him in the room.
Speed Racer:  Tell mommy you need the door opened.
Me:  No, you talk to mommy.
Speed Racer:  Mommy, I afraid of the darkness.
Me:  Okay, go lay down.  {I crack the door open to give him some light.}
Princess (an 80 year old in a 4 year old's body):  Speed Racer, I remember when I was afraid of the darkness.  You just have to love your bed, and hug it, and snuggle in it, and then you won't be afraid of the darkness and then you will be able to sleep.
Speed Racer:  Okay.

We've since bought a low light nightlight to go in the bedroom, which has helped.  We've always had a bedtime routine which we always try to stick to (bible story, prayers, kisses), and now I make sure he goes to the potty once again, has his blankie, his special toy for sleeping with, and then I wait at the door while they settle down.  It seems to be working.  Plus, I have to be particular about how long we sleeps for naptime.

The Coconut Cake...

The finished cake

I completed the cake.  The frosting was yummy, and it actually looks okay besides being a little crooked.  It is a three layer cake. 

Thank you for those of you who offered me different recipes.  Had I had time and the appropriate ingredients, I would have tried them out.

The Birthday Cake Debacle of 2010

Every year for Daniel's birthday, I make a from scratch cake in whatever cake flavor Daniel desires. The first year, it was a lemon cake. It did not turn out so great, but okay for a first attempt. I am a baker, but NOT a cake decorator, so it was not pretty. The following years I've made a tunnel of fudge cake, a chocolate cake, a banana cake with chocolate frosting (not a birthday cake), cupcakes of various flavors (some times I actually used a mix for these), and this year, the requested flavor was left up to me. I called out different flavors as I looked at recipes and Daniel responded to coconut, so coconut is what I tried today. I used Paula Deen's recipe off of the food network, but after two attempts, my cake did not look like Paula's, and I followed the recipe to a T both times. Regardless the cake fell in the middle both times and if the oven was bumped, it was not by me because I was nursing the baby during the cooking process both times.  I only opened the oven after the alloted time for baking was completed., so I just don't know what I did wrong!

Here's what the cake looked like after the first attempt.  If I were to trim the cake down to the flat level, well, pancake is about all that would be left.  I attempted to layer it with the "filling" on each layer.  With this attempt, I used all purpose flour and added the appropriate amount of baking powder and salt to make self rising flour as called for in the recipe.

First attempt at coconut cake (with Paula's filling on it)

Speed Racer liking the way it tastes even if it looks funny

For the second attempt I used smaller cake pans and self rising flour, just in case I had old baking powder or took the wrong measurements.  But again, the cake did not rise appropriately in the middle.  However, I think I have salvaged it by using some Jamie methods that I am sure would not be acceptable in any other bakery or by a professional.  I am letting it sit with the filling on it overnight and will frost it tomorrow.  Look for a picture of the completed cake tomorrow or later in the week if it turns out okay.

What my kitchen sink looked like after attempting to bake 2 from scratch cakes.
The other half was already washing in the dishwasher.

Technical Difficulties

July 29, 2010, my former laptop officially died. With it were all my babies pictures. Luckily my husband knows people who know things about computers, so with a little help from a work friend, the pictures were recovered. The hard drive was fine, just the screen was not.  SO, now the old computer is a backup hard drive.  And now we have a new computer (because the cost to fix the old one was not cost effective.) Stay tuned for more stories.

Tool Storage

Dinner Tonight

When I spent a summer in Oregon back in the college years, I got to eat fresh yummy salmon a few times and fell in love with it even more than I already liked it.  I hated salmon crochets as a child, but fresh salmon, though an acquired taste, is delish.  Wild Alaskan Sockeye Salmon (tastier and healthier than farm raised) was on sale at Publix this week, so this is what we had for dinner:

Pecan brown sugar glazed salmon, brown rice, and broccoli.

It was yum-yummy.  Speed Racer did not eat much of it, but Princess made her plate all clean.

Our friend, Ms. Jill, gave us some peaches, okra, and tomatoes from her grandfather in law, so I made a peach cobbler for dessert.  Thank you, Jill!  Fresh fried okra will be on the menu soon!

It's all from scratch!  (not the prettiest)

I'm not a kid anymore

Inside my head, despite the fact that I have 3 kids who I regularly feed, dress, play with, teach, and care for, I feel like kid.  My mind cannot wrap itself around the idea that I am a full fledged adult of *gasp* 33 years.  I keep wondering when my mind will catch up to my body.  I also wonder if when I am 60 (hopefully), will I still think this or by then will I think I'm only 33?  And I'm not the only mommy who seems to feel this way.  Just last week at bible study around the circle, none of us could believe we were not teenagers.  A few things that make me aware that I'm not a kid anymore is by looking at childhood photos posted on facebook and things like this:

Me with part of the spiritual coat of armor on

How does this picture signify I am no longer a child you might ask.  Well, I have on the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, and the belt of truth which the bible says is to be fitted around my waist.  However, in my case, it only fits around my thigh.  Yes, I am no longer a skinny kid with a skinny waist.  No folks, the reality is, I am a mother of 3.

My little buddy asked me to get dressed so I could fight him.  Here he is with the helmet of salvation and sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.  The belt, by the way, in no way fits him - it falls right off!

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, 

against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and 

against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, 

you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, 

with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 

and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 

In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, 

with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. 

With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.  

Ephesians 6:11-18

Weight Loss

So since I've had Doodlebug, I've been trying to lose the baby weight.
With Princess, I gained roughly 30 lbs.   Lost it, gained about 5 back.
With Speed Racer, I gained only 25 lbs.  Lost it and the extra 5 to my original weight and then another 3 lbs.  Sometime or another I gained the 3 back plus 7 more.  So I was roughly 7 lbs more than the weight I usually hold steady at when I got pregnant with Doodlebug.  With her, I gained 25 lbs.

After I had her I lost 17 lbs in the first few weeks.  And then I joined weight watchers and started regularly exercising on the wii fit.  In 10 weeks on WW, I have lost 13 lbs and 13 inches all over!  I am 3 lbs shy of the weight I like to hang around out.  I am hoping to lose 13 more.

Finding time to exercise with small kids around is hard, but since I've actually been exercising, I have felt so good.  I am more motivated than I ever have been.  I did not exercise regularly beforehand.  I had this strange idea that I had to cater to my children at all times of the day, but now I realize that it is good for them to see me get up and move and they even attempt to do it with me sometimes.  So this post is here so you can ask me if I am still exercising.

Summer Days

Daniel has been under the weather this week, so last night I took the kids on a mommy date for pizza.  I thought they were going to get free slices, but when I got there, I found out you had to buy two adult meals for any free slice.  We decided to go there anyhow.  While we were there, the kids and I waited patiently for our food.  When his drink and food came, Speed Racer said thank you both times with no prompting by me.  Later a nice lady stopped to tell me that I had the most polite children.  Any time you receive a compliment on your child's behavior, it is grand.  Because it is not only a compliment to them but to all of your hard work.  And yes, I know how secretly they really behave at home, but one can revel in the small accomplishments when they come.  When we were halfway finished with our meal, Speed Racer yelled, "I've gotta go potty!"  So all of us got up and went to the potty.  When we returned to our table only two minutes later, our food was gone and the hostess was finishing with cleaning the table.  I looked horrified, I am sure, because my kids were still hungry.  She realized what she had done, and then we had to wait patiently all over again to eat the rest of our dinner.  All in all, it was a very long dinner and I was glad that the kids waited so patiently to eat.

Today I wanted to take them out to the park or something, but when I walked outside I decided we would stay here.  Too hot to be at the park for long, so I decided it would take more time to load them into the car than we would actually stay and play, so we stayed at home.  I wish we had a big pool to hang out at all the time, but we do not. Anyhow, we decided to play ROAR and Hide n Seek, and we had the best time.  It was full of lots of giggles, laughter, and fun, as well as boos and scares.  I love playing with my kids, but now that Princess and Speed Racer play so well together, I don't get to play as much.  Plus, I can easily get distracted by my house duties when they start playing.  My love language is quality time, however, so when I get to play, I feel loved by them and feel that I am showing my love to them more than I could any other way.  So today was fabuloso - one of the wonderful things about summer.

Happy Birthday Speed Racer

My little man is 3 today!

 Fresh out of the oven!

Princess seeing him for the first time

3 weeks

First Birthday!

Hiding in a box on his 1st birthday!

He's 2!

Brother and sister when he was 2!

At 2!

Almost 3!

Getting to see Mr. Potato Head at Chick-Fil-A! (almost 3)

My how things have changed over the years!  A new baby sister!

Hide n Seek

Okay, I guess I am about to divulge too much information.  Do you remember playing hide n seek as a child?  Well, when I am sad or frustrated or discouraged, I still like to hide in a small closet somewhere as if I were a child again playing hide n seek, only I don't want to be found.  I want to stay hidden away.  When I was young, my dad had a horrible temper, and I often wanted to hide and run away from the rage that would explode from him.  As a result, I was often too afraid to talk to my parents, and I learned to hide the secret parts of me inside not just from them but from everyone.  Instead of learning to talk it out in a healthy manner, I often journaled my frustrations, which apart from this blog, I rarely do now.

Because I like to hold it all inside with the exception of a panicked one line status update on facebook, I am sometimes hard to get to know, though I think I am better than I used to be.  I've been called a number of things from contrite to shy to stuck up.  I don't know if any of them are true or if they are all true.  I don't even know if it was my nature to be quiet or if it was a learned response to my environment.  Whatever the case, God used it to shape me and who I am and so I am thankful for it.  My mom always said the song "In My Room" by the Beach Boys reminded her of me.



One day last week, all day, was one of those days that I just had an on-going internal monologue and really needed to write to release all of the things I had managed to hold inside, but I couldn't find the time.  None of the things were big, just tons of questions I had like "Am I doing this parenting thing right.  I don't do it like so and so does.  Is her way the best way?"  I don't remember what happened at the end of day except for just needing to "hide," and though I was hiding, I did not want to be found or bothered.  Usually I do.  Usually I like to be pursued.  This day, I just wanted the quiet to surround me and comfort me as it did when I was a child.  In the quiet, God whispered to me,

I am your hiding place; I will protect you from trouble and surround you with songs of deliverance.  Psalm 32:7
I hem you in, behind and before, and My Hand is upon you.  Psalm 139:5
I am familiar with all your ways.  Psalm 139:3
You cannot go away from my Spirit or flee my Presence.  Psalm 139:7
I have called you by name; you are Mine.  Isaiah 43:1
For I am the Lord Your God, the Holy One, of Israel.  Isaiah 43:3

Though I wanted to hide, there is comfort in knowing that I cannot hide from Him and that I have a husband who cares enough to want to understand the secret things about me instead of letting me hide away in my shell.  I have not learned how to always be real with people when I am fragile and afraid whether it be about something small or something huge unless I am able to write it down like a silly school girl.  I still like to put on my strong walls of defense (the quiet) and cower away for fear that no one will care or notice my distress.  This is true even with my hubby.  I don't give people an opportunity to help me, and I will even run away unknowingly at times from God.  His gentle whispers reminded me that even though those things shaped me and made me into who I am, He is still working on me and wants me to transform again and move past the quiet.  I know as a parent I do not want my children to be quiet and uncommunicative like me.  I want to be able to know the deepest parts of them and help them overcome the hard things, even when their difficulties seem too much for me - God is with me.

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified, for I am with you.  I will never leave you or forsake you.  Deut 31:6.

In what ways are you hiding today?  Have you been found by the One who is Pursuing You?  Will you let Him be your Hiding Place?

Doodlebug is Huge

Doodlebug went in for her two month checkup on Wednesday of this week, which means she had her first set of shots.  She is 2 1/2 months old already, and she weighed in at 12 lbs 13 oz and was 24 inches long.  I knew she was big, but I did not know just how big!  This puts her between 75th and 90th percentile for length and weight!  Now, I have never had a big baby.  At Princess's 2 month appointment, she only weighed 9 lbs 7 oz, and was between 5th and 10th percentile.  She stayed at 25th percent the rest of her babyhood and at her last checkup was up to average on weight.  When Speed Racer went for his 2 month appointment, he was still in the 50th percentile, but quickly fell between 5th and 10th by his 4 month checkup and has stayed around 10th.  I wonder what little Miss Doodlebug is going to do.  I've never had a big baby before!  It is kinda sad and exciting all at once, because she is growing faster than I want her to, but she is very healthy, and I am happy about that.  Like Speed Racer was as a baby, she is very mild mannered and generally cries when hungry or sleepy and that's all.  She is a blessing, and I can hardly remember life without her.  She is a talker - when talked to, she coos and coos.  She is already laughing.  I told the doctor that, and I could tell she was skeptical, and then Dr. D heard her.  Dr. D was so excited and surprised.  Doodle generally sleeps most of the night.  I can handle getting up between 4am and 5am, and she usually feeds 6 or 7 times a day (nursed).  We try to do cloth diapers when we are at home.  Modern cloth diapers are expensive to begin with, but it is nice because I haven't had to buy any disposables yet (though that is quickly coming to an end), and the cloth ones we have are supposed to be usable until she is potty trained!  It is actually kinda fun to put her in cloth diapers - they are cute.  Besides that, it is no different and at least easier than cleaning up potty trained poop accidents in underwear which is unfortunately more common than I would like! 

We have already traveled with Doodle.  She has been to Destin to the beach with the whole family and to New Orleans with mommy and daddy.  She is a great traveler too.  So that's the update on Doodle.  Now we have two little princesses in our home.  Both Princess and Speed Racer think she's the best and love and dote on her when they can, though the newness of her is starting to wear off.