Friendship

I have been struggling for quite some time with a person in my life who seems to be perfect. This summer I read, "The Friendships of Women" by Dee Brestin, and it really helped me see that my thoughts on friendships are quite normal and so are my struggles and desire for more intimate friendships. It helped me move past my hangups though this is still very much a place of struggle for me. I often feel defeated by the aforementioned person's seeming perfection. However, I know that she cannot be as perfect as she seems. No one could be as close to God on this side of eternity as it seems she is. I am waiting upon God to tell me if she is a person to let go of or to continue to bear burdens with. But, she has caused me to examine myself, and for transparency's sake, these are what I believe to be true about me:

• I am not an expert on anything
• I am not perfect
• I am a sinner
• I mess up every day
• I need God in my life desperately
• I am still blessed in my position in life despite my imperfection
• In my weakness and need, He is strong within me
• I must become more humble and generous in my ability to meet the needs of others
• There must must must be less of me and more of Him

In a nutshell, this means that though my heart desires intimacy, it must not be for intimacy's sake that I seek and serve. I must be because Christ is my all and everything. I must be more proactive and intentional and die to self not just daily, but hourly, minute by minute if necessary, and believe me, it is necessary. A quote from "The Friendships of Women" says,

"When your own needs for intimacy are being met, it's easy to slide into complacency concerning the needs of others. If a newcomer does come [to a bible study], she senses the group's intimacy and feels like an outsider looking in. How diligent we must be to pray for the love of Christ to continually flow through us so that we continue to reach out to those newcomers with hearty welcomes when they arrive, along with extending invitations for coffee, and affirming emails. Likewise, we need Christ to touch our eyes so that we see women as He does."

Though I desire intimacy, I rarely reach out to form intimacy with a newcomer and I want to turn this around for Christ, which means I must die and He must live. I must strive to do that which makes me uncomfortable. "Our dependence should be on God alone - for only He is without sin, and only He will never let us down" (The Friendships of Women, p. 176). There is no friend like the friend you have in Christ - none. This reminds me of the old hymn, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." Enjoy!