Monday, October 4, 2010

Maybe tetanus would be better

Just a snapshot of a moment in time for you today.

This morning I cut my finger on my washing machine.  I've had my machine a little over 10 years and the paint on the lid has peeled off the inside rim and the metal has rusted.

My two big kids were in school today, but while they were there, I proceeded to do more laundry, and I forgot about my finger until about 40 minutes before I was to go pick them up.

So I called my nurse:

Me:  I cut my finger on some rusty metal - do I need a tetanus shot?
Nurse: yes, and the doctor will need to examine your finger too.
Me:  ummmm, okay, can he see me like right now?
Nurse:  How about 2:10?

Me (mentally) - okay, but it'll be me and my whole family.  Are you sure I really need the shot?
Me (actually):  okay.

I go pick up my kids.  They are hungry, so I get some juice and apples at the McDonald's down the street from the doctor's office.  I tell them that they are taking me to the doctor because I cut my finger.

Princess:  So we are not going right home?
Me:  No, we are going to the doctor.

We get to the office, exit the car, and enter the office.  Here's what goes down:

I fill out the "I'm here" form, then some other papers, and my kids look at a book.  Then they want me to read it, and that's when I begin to smell the all too familiar odor, coming from my supposedly potty trained children, not from the diapered baby, but from one of them with underpants on.  Great!  I suspect the odor is coming from Princess.

Me (whispering):  Do you need to go poo-poo?  (I am hoping it is not actually poop at this point.)
Princess:  No
Me (whispering):  Do you have poop in your pants?
Princess:  No, but giving me that "I'm guilty" look.
Me (thinking): Let's read the book.

I read the book. 

Me (whispering):  If I look in your pants, what will I find?
Princess:  poop
Me (thinking fast):  Let's go to the car everyone.

To the receptionist:  I'm going to the car, so in case you were going to call me back, you'll know where I've gone.

Luckily for me, I don't trust my Princess not to have accidents and have placed extra clothes in her backpack.  I clean her up and change her and back in we go straight to the bathroom.  At the same time, the nurse is calling me back.  She lets me take the kids into the bathroom first.

Speed Racer:  good - I've gotta go potttttyyyyyyyyyyyy!
I lift him up, but he is already peeing and it is not going into the potty.  Now, although he's tried to tinkle in the potty, he's successfully tinkled on his underpants and pants.  To the exam room we go with wet pants.

Nurse:  Okay, even though you cut your finger on your own washing machine, I'm going to have him look at your finger because sometimes you have to take antibiotics.

She goes out and back in with my shot and gives me the shot.

The doctor comes in:

Doctor:  Did you want me to look at your finger?
Me:  No, but she (the nurse) did.
Me:  But she didn't look at it.
Doctor:  Well, it's good to look at it.
Me:  Okay, here it is.
Doctor:  Here's a band-aid for you.  You can go.

Oh, joyous me, I paid $35 and got a shot for this. 

I call Daniel on the way home.
Me:  You wouldn't even believe our trip to the doctor's office.
Daniel:  Oh yeah, it would've been better to get tetanus!
Me:  Laughing monstrously, why yes, maybe it would have.

BTW, I came home and did the same thing all over again with Speed Racer with an almost poopy pants situation.  I keep a poop chart because the children get constipated easily, and yet, this still happens sometimes.  Despite my best efforts to prevent it, it's especially worse after school starts and I don't know if, when, and where they are going and how they are drinking.


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