Wednesday, February 18, 2009

What is your biggest fear?

This is a question that Beth Moore asked us in our session yesterday. Did you know that in the bible we are commanded more than anything else to "fear not!"

I can be brave, but right now I am fearful. Fearful of having another child, because I am fearful of not being the mother that I should/need to be. I really desire to have another, and it seems that all around me people are either having another one or are talking about it too, but I just don't know how I could manage. I already feel as though I fail at motherhood daily. For a while, parenting these two was getting easier, but we are going through a rough patch again, and I haven't submitted my plans for another child to God to know His will. Actually, I think I understand His will for us in this area, but I am struggling with the plans He has for me. However, I know that children are a gift from the Lord.

In today's study, Beth Moore had a great observation about perfectionism, which I mention because in regards to parenting, I want to be perfect. In other areas, I am able to let things go easier, but in parenting, I struggle. She writes, "I'm not suggesting we shouldn't do our best. I'm simply saying that sometimes just surviving certain tasks without falling apart IS our best and in those times God is not ashamed of our performance....God isn't interested in our stellar performance but in our hearts. He loves our willingness and obedience despite our insecurities." How much I need to hear those words as a mother.

When I was thinking of my greatest fear, of course, my children came to mind. In the middle of the night Princess woke up screaming Monday night, and I came back to bed wide awake and all I could do was pray. So often I want to hear encouraging words from others, but as I was laying there, I realized that God alone is my strength and my encouragement. He, even though we think of him as a male, is my mother figure too. He can give me advise on what to do when I'm confused as a mom. He is my children's very best parent. When I fail, He is still parenting them over and beyond any of my earthly efforts, so I should not worry. Thank you and amen for that, Lord!

What is your greatest fear and how can it be used for the kingdom of God for a time such as this?

1 comment:

  1. I needed to hear that "just surviving" part...that's all I have been able to do these past few weeks being so sick and taking care of the kids. Praying for the perfect timing with a third!


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