Thursday, October 2, 2008

Migraines and Humanity

Sometimes, in the blogginess of it all, I don't know what to write or where to start.

I missed bible study, but I checked out the Beth Moore video from our church library, and I am all caught up on that end. I am who God says I am was this week's lesson and what the homework is about. In love, I am blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed, and forgiven. How amazing. Beth made an excellent point - what adopted child is not wanted or longed for?

You know sometimes I just get so wrapped up in my own humanity. Yesterday, despite doing what was probably best for Pea, I went home to visit my mom and my granny. It had been a while since I'd visited - almost a month, and I know every day that passes we are one day closer to granny going home to Jesus, so I went to visit anyhow, even though Pea wasn't quite his normal self - sometimes I cave into the family pressure. I always try to do what is the very best for the kids, but sometimes I am swayed by what someone else believes the very best is. The timing of it all could not have been more off. I have to say that going home to visit, albeit only an hour away, is a difficult journey with two little mutchkins. I mean, it just takes a lot of time to load them up and get going. Princess is on a very slow pace - not a hurry up and go modern pace. By the time we got there, it was already almost 11 o'clock. We had to get gas and I went to get a dollar drink at McD's. Not the best of situations considering that Pea needs naps during the day, and he rarely even if dogged tired sleeps in the car. And for some reason, grandmothers rarely think that kids need naps - what's up with that?

Then I got a bad migraine, and the visit ended sooner rather than later, which in hindsight was probably a blessing in disguise. But the migraine got me worrying about my health and wishing I had time to go to the doctor or join a gym. Mentally, I could just list all of my negatives off before me. None relating to the act of mothering, but the sacrifices of mothering. Then, I watched the Beth Moore video, and my perspective changed. I have a God who is taking care of me when I am taking care of everyone else besides myself, and He allows me to call to Him for help, and He gives it. He always has His best for me, and He is never swayed by anyone else's opinion. So when I need help going to the doctor, I can call to Him (and my husband) and say, "Help." Rest assured, God will come to the rescue in some fashion. :)

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