Saturday, August 30, 2008

My Sweet Granny

My granny is dying. She had some tests done last week, and they found out that they could not do anything for her to save her leg, other than offer her an experimental treatment to grow new veins in her legs. Even though she is heavily medicated for her heart problems, they found blockages in her legs and kidneys, and last year she decided not to have open heart surgery, so this time it was too late to do anything of that nature. The doctor even said that she could not have her foot removed without dying, so my mom was going to see if she wanted to try the experimental treatment. And at first, it was a go, but then, they found out that it was going to be too much poking and prodding, so granny really didn't feel like putting up with all of the effort for it. She is in a great deal of pain with her foot, and I guess, eventually, she will die from it. It is horrible to watch someone you love be in pain.

I know we all must die, but I really wish granny could stay here forever. She is very special to me, because I am special to her. She always called me her "sunshine," and I have never done anything to deserve such a special title. (Of course, I think she calls all of her grandchildren sunshine, but that's beside the point.) My sister and I stayed with my "granny and papa" every friday night for most of our young life. We watched TGIFriday on ABC and ate canned refried beans, and even though there was nothing to do, we had fun. She taught me "The Three Little Pigs" and "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" and Piggy toes and how to sing "Jesus loves me" and "Jesus loves the little children." I sing both of those songs regularly to my sweet children out of fond memory of her singing it to me. I can remember going home from college and her begging us to spend the night again even though we could not. And, during the summer I spent in Youngstown, NY, she wrote me every single day that I was away. Every card would have the same verse, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" Prov 3:5-6. The next summer I went to the Oregon coast, and she continued to write me all of the time. She used to call me almost everyday until the last few years, and even then, she talks to my mom daily and always asks about me and my sister and how we are doing. I know she prays for us.

I haven't been nearly as good to her as she has been to me. It was during those college years and my working years that she started getting sick with dementia or Alzheimer's. I hope that one day my children will look up to me the same way my mom always looked up to her and that I will live long enough to see both grandchildren and great grandchildren and also have them respect me the same way. I hope that I can be to my children and grandchildren the same type of encouragement and spiritual guide that she has been to us. My granny is one of the sweetest, best people I have ever known or will ever know. I hope to portray that same sweetness and godliness in my own Jamie way someday, somehow.

"You're My Sunshine" ~ Granny
"You're My Sweet Granny" ~Me

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