Monday, August 25, 2008


I am totally frustrated today, and even though, I technically don't have time to write a blog, I absolutely HAVE to write a blog in hopes that I can relieve some of the frustration.

It feels like everything at my home is in utter disarray all of the time, even though I know that it not true. There is absolutely too much junk in every room of my house (to me). I'm the kind of person that cleans when I am upset because I like everything to be in order. But, I can live with a little bit of mess, just NOT disorganized mess. I know a few who only tirelessly comment on what needs to be done in my home, when literally I have been gracious enough to allow them to come in my home even though it is not perfect enough even to me.

To clarify, we do not need to be nominated for Clean House or anything like that, but to me, everything feels like it is in chaos and disarray. I am sure there is something underlying that is bothering me too, but I haven't processed it yet. Anyway, I clean up and then I have these 2 kids who keep undoing all of the work I am doing. And if I did what I need to do for the house, I would have no time for the children, and obviously, they are more important. Then I become a grouch to them, and no fun at all. Especially today, when all I can think of is the chaos and organizing to do, instead of the sweet hugs and kisses and laughter and tugs. I guess I need a break. I rarely get a break - who does, right? (So why am I complaining?) What I really need is an attitude adjustment!! I am just tired of cleaning to no end in sight and getting rid of junk only to be given more. I don't want to be ungrateful either. Anyhow, if you are reading this, I could use a few prayers. I really need them and appreciate them.

What I realized as I was looking around is that I am God's creation, and I long for the eternal. I long for furniture that lasts for a lifetime and applesauce that does not grow mold and chairs that do not mildew in the rain. Romans says this, "The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to FRUSTRATION, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God." Even though this passage is speaking of the rest of creation and not believers or mankind, I am frustrated because creation is frustrated too. Everything created by God longs for the day when it will be able to truly and completely fulfill its designated purpose without the frustration that sin causes - even me.

So I feel a little relief, but I still have much to do.

Until next time - tootleloo!

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