Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Expectations (revised 4:50 pm)

So as a mom you have certain expectations of your children and then you talk to other moms and you sometimes come up with new expectations. In the potty training arena, I have not had much wisdom to draw from. I am not around many mothers who can give me wisdom on any parenting, but especially this area. My own mom claims that my granny sat me on a potty at the 1 year mark and I tee-teed and that was that. She says my sister followed quickly because she saw me, and so my mom has no real recollection of potty training. My friend tells me that her mom potty trained her and all her sisters exactly at the age of 2 in only one day. My mother in law says she trained my husband at about 19 months. And then I have a friend who has a "perfect" child who always seems to really do everything perfectly, and her daughter trained herself around 18 months and even stayed dry at night, saying she was completely trained in 6 months. Side note: I had a few comments on whether I was trying to slight the friend with the perfect child, but I totally did not intend for my comment to be taken that way. So, my friend, if you are reading this, and are offended, I sincerely apologize!

Well, for me, I have had no such said child. At 2 1/2, she tinkles in the potty and is working on telling me when she has to go, but otherwise, she can stay dry if I take her to the potty or remind her. I have come to find out that 2 1/2 is a reasonable age for a little girl to reach this goal. Though I am convinced that she could poo-poo in the potty all the time, she does not, and I have come to find out that a reasonable timeframe of this could be 6 months to a year longer. And she does not regularly stay dry at night. Occasionally, yes, and I have tried taking her to the potty before I go to bed to see what happens. But I have come to find out that a reasonable expectation of this is a year or so after she is going during the day, so we have possibly another year before this is achieved or longer. But no one ever told me any of this, and as a mom, if you have unreasonable expectations, you can get discouraged easily, and place undue stress on yourself and your child. Please encourage young mothers whatever they may be doing. This post is meant to be an encouragment to anyone who may be in similar circumstances. I assume the more moms you know with a lot of different experiences, the better off you are in training or teaching your child in a reasonable manner. With that aside, I've heard boys can be even more difficult, so even though I will recognize that if it occurs in E, I am already praying for an easier time of it.

Things my 2 1/2 year old does:
picks out her own clothes and completely dresses herself
climbs in the car, gets in her seat, and buckles herself in the car seat
can drink from a big girl cup
completely feeding herself (has been for probably a year now)
anything else she thinks a "big gurl" might do, unless she is having one of her moments where she understandably still wants to be a baby or a "little gurl"

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