I think it would be entirely wrong to let you assume that my life is full of worship and perkiness kinda like Princess Gizelle from the movie Enchanted, who upon singing has rodents and birds at her every whim and has the most positive outlook all of the time. So after the last post, I feel I must tell you about the rest of my Thursday. That morning was a worship filled morning from washing the table to listening to some awesome new worship tunes on my iPod, but it quickly went sour. I think the enemy was totally out to rob the praise and worship I had in my heart, and I let him.
The week had been very challenging with the children. Princess had been having potty accidents, and Speed Racer had been climbing in and out of the dresser, and for whatever reason, it all started to add up. I let these simple things rob me of the joy I had received earlier in the morning. After checking on Speed Racer for the fourth time during naptime and finding all of the clothes in the dresser on the floor yet again, I lost it. I just lost my cool, and all of the energy I had for the day was zapped after I lost it. I guess you could say that in my pregnant state, I really wanted naptime to be a time of rest. Sure, if you've been pregnant, you can relate, but nevertheless, it was simply selfish. This mom of two, despite what naptime luxuries other mommies have in taking rests during the day, simply does not get to take a nap or much of a break during the day. There are always demands and needs to be met, even with naptime for Speed Racer and quiet time for Princess, and even though I selfishly want a break, I am learning that sometimes, this is a luxury.
That evening I was anticipating going to have a nice night out with the girls from church - a night I had even helped to arranged, but after the events of the day, I had no energy left for spending time with the girls. This is mostly due to the fact that I am an introvert, and I needed my own getaway to recover my energy.
It just so happens that on that particular day my husband had to work out of town and was coming home late. I do not dwell on things like this, but in the back of my mind, I was praying over him and his safety, and I also thought about what life would be like without him. I just had this sense of prayer over him and whether you would call it worry or not - I had thoughts of life as a widow. He came home safely, and even though I wasn't going to meet with the girls, he still insisted I get away from the house for a break that evening. He sent me on my merry way, so I went to dinner with my bible and bible study book in hand and had a great time of recuperation with the Lord over dinner. Then I made a trip to the baby store and came home, feeling much better because God had filled me up again with Himself. At dinner against my better judgment, I drank a caffeinated beverage. I am notoriously bad about staying awake after drinking caffeine.
Upon coming home, I vegged out on the couch with my laptop and heard about my son cutting his finger by breaking a porcelain figure in the bedroom. Right before I was to go to sleep, I got an email telling the news of a man from our church who had died. I did not know him, except for by sight, though I had worked with his wife in our church office. You see, he was a young man, being only 44 or 45 years of age, and his wife was now a widow left with a 5 year old son and some teenage daughters. I don't know the details of his death, only knowing that it was a tragic and untimely death. And the irony that I had been thinking of widowhood all day was not wasted on me. Tragedy, you see, has a way of putting things in the proper perspective. Things like children who don't obey and can't get to the bathroom on time suddenly seem very small and minor in comparison to someone who has lost her husband. But the very good thing was that after hearing the bad news, I could not sleep - that combined with caffeine made a poor combination for sleeping, but I prayed. I prayed for that family, and I feel blessed that I could do so. The man was a church staff member, and I knew upon hearing and seeing the outcry on facebook that God was going to be up to something BIG after his death.
And this morning, I saw on facebook a post from a friend similar to my thoughts. And then at church, God was there. His presence was felt. Revive our hearts, O Lord. Come and meet with us at Valleydale Church.