Coke Zero - a poor imitation of the real thing

God has given me something to say once again...

Today we made another trek to the McWane Center since Daniel was off and our membership expires at the end of the month. On our way home, we stopped to eat lunch. Several people have mentioned that Coke Zero is wonderful and tastes as good as the real thing, so I decided to try it. At first it tasted a little like the real thing - the consistency of syrup to fizz was good, and it swirled around my mouth the same, but as it went down, it was obvious that it was not the real thing. All I could taste then was articifical sweeteners, which I have not forced myself to come to enjoy. It was, in my opinion, a poor imitation of the real thing, which got me to thinking about imitations and real things.

I came up with two thoughts. One, as Christians, we are to be imitators of Christ (Eph. 5:1), and I am a poor imitation of Him. Though I may look like the real thing, I am not Christ. Without submitting to Him to absolute control in my life, I may never even look like Him much less achieve anything close to the level of perfection that He is and was. On my own, I am nothing (John 15:5). Even though I'm a Christ-follower and I am not on my own, I still sin and fail, therefore, I still have the bitter aftertaste, instead of the sweet taste that only Christ can leave behind. We all need the one real thing that is Christ.

Here's the second thing: I have noticed that over the past year, maybe longer, I have been an imitator of the wrong things. I am without argument an extremely lonely person. I hunger and thirst for relationship. I have turned my gaze off of the One that could be my relationship fulfillment to seek fulfillment in others. I have not found that satisfaction in my husband, nor in children, nor in facebook, nor in bible studies, nor in mommy playgroups, nor in blogging (though I do love it), or anywhere else I can think to look. I have looked everywhere, but I remain in the pit of loneliness. Wanting to be in community with others is a godly desire, but it is a stumbling block of weakness that Satan has used to keep me locked in the pit, never finding my way out to the abundant life. I have worn pretty clothes and put on makeup and cut my hair and gone to dinners with women, all mainly to make myself more attractive and acceptable as a friend. And I have been driven to want more things, more than I would really want, because maybe if I had those things, I could fit in. And still, none of those things makes me a worthy approachable person that people want to befriend, and I never seem to befriend others either.

Last night, in life group, our lesson was on Eve. Basically, we learned that her sin was born out of an ungrateful heart, which is so where I am. I am not thankful for the husband I have. He is a great husband, and I could not ask for a better one, but I do, I ask for more. And I have two great kids, but Princess is strong willed and difficult and I want more. Pea is demanding, and I want more. I have a church home with bible studies and mommy groups, but I want more. I want to actually know the women there. I have some friends and many acquaintances, but I want intimate relationships. On the whole, one would not think that there is anything wrong with wanting better versions of the things that you have, but eternally, it is wrong, at least for me. These desires within me are evil because they bring me to sin. They have led me away from Christ and His perfect plan for me.

Though the world has made me feel unloved and unworthy through my lack of relationships, Christ says that I am loved and very valuable to Him. When I stop gazing on what I do not have and remember what I do have, I am humbled and repentant for not valuing my marital relationship and friendships like I should. I hope that one day, I will find myself grateful for this period of time, which may be for the rest of my life, when I did not have any intimate relationships and I learned to focus on Him alone. I know that I must hunger and thirst for Christ for only He can satisfy. He has led me into the fire, so that this imperfect imitation can be made perfect through Him.

1 Peter 1:3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.