Playlist

Hey all,
I've added a playlist to the right side of my page. I did not set it to play automatically because I sometimes need to concentrate while I read, but please check it out, especially the first two tracks by Shawn MacDonald called "Clarity." This song really resonates in my soul right now, but more on that in my next post. Also there are some fun children's songs on there as well - those are for my kiddos.
Love,

An Award for ME - Thanks, darling!

Guess what?

I've won a blog award. I will forgo the acceptance speech just to say, "Thanks darling" in the style of Audrey Hepburn. As a result I have to tell you 7 random things about me.

1. I've always secretly hoped I could win one of these awards, but I don't really know that many people into blogging.
2. My friend Audrey nominated me for this award, and I would like to be as hip and as cool as she is. She unabashedly proclaims she has 65 pairs of shoes AFTER she cleaned out 10 pairs, and I would LOVE just to have 65 pairs of shoes. Even though I don't have the clothes to match I would find a way to wear them. I love shoes. I'm one of those hip fashionistas hidden under my boring clothes and make up less face. I do really love shows like "Project Runway" and most shows about fashion. A girl can dream, right? Hey, I did live with Anna - does that count too?
3. I too own recyclable bags but rarely use them because I leave them hanging up at home or in the back of the van.
4. I easily get sucked into reality TV, and I'm sure I could be sucked into the whole Twilight thing if I picked up a book, but I haven't.
5. We've only had a DVR for 2 weeks, but already, I don't know how I would live without it. With having the 2 kids, it really is a nice feature to have, and I can fast forward the commercials.
6. I have begun nesting my home for a third child but I am not pregnant.
7. I don't know what personality type you think I am, but according to wikipedia and this quiz from Discovery Health, I am type AB. I need structure as I could easily dream the day away if given the opportunity.

I nominate: Brooke, Lindy, and Jess.

Whose turn next...

What I failed to mentioned in my post about the Stinky Cold Season was that I had been sick with a cold virus too. It totally knocked me out on Sunday (the 25th). Daniel let me sleep in a little on Monday morning, and then he went to work. I still felt bad that day but started to recover, though I am still not 100% myself.

Today Princess has caught the bug and feels horrible. I guess when she slept til 8 am that should have been a sign. Then Pea woke her up, and she was not her usually perky self upon waking. We are planning to lay around on the couch and rest today, though we had hoped maybe to go to the library.

Riding the Trike

Princess has finally taken off on her trike. I would post a video, but the quality is just not good enough.

So Proud

Pea is finally excited about books. He brings them to me and sits with me for a while just like Princess used to do. He got a couple of Cars books for Christmas, and I have checked out some books from the library that are about trucks and vehicles, and it has opened up his mind about books. His very favorite things are moving vehicles and balls and now books. He loves them as much as Princess loves princesses. He loves to learn just like Princess does and has started mimicking everything we say now. Having an older sibling has really helped him learn things faster.

Stinky Cold Season

Pea has had a cold for 5 weeks now, though it has not been the same one the whole time. Apparently he has caught different strains of the cold virus. The first one was minor. The second one was major, which left him clinging to me for a week. The third one developed this weekend. The kids stayed with the in-laws, and Pea came back with weepy eyes with a thick mucus too. So I called the doctor, and the nurse called in some eye drops for conjuctivitis or eye infection due to the cold. He felt fine, but looked so sad. Luckily the eye drops worked like a charm. Unfortunately, you have to continue to give them even after the eyes clear up, and Pea hates them. I can't blame him when we are the only ones torturing him now - the cold is virtually gone in his eyes.

Daniel says that Pea is our sick child. Perhaps that is true, but honestly, he's only had very minor illnesses. I am trying to be thankful and think positively at all times, so instead of saying that he is our sick child, I am going to give thanks for the health that he has. I am going to give thanks for the sweet hugs that he needs even when I don't know how to hold him and hold sister too. I am thankful that I have 2 children who I can hug! And, I am thankful that he is well at least for this moment in time!!

Things I've Heard Today

"Pup, Pup" meaning "cup, cup" by Pea, which is his rather desperate cry said numerous times a day.

"Rarrrr" by Pea when asked what the Lion says. "Chomp" by Pea when asked what the crocodile says as he claps his hands together.

"Mama, when it's my birthday, and I turn 4, I am going to wear these Grandmaw panties." Princess said of some rather large panties given to her by her Grandmaw.

"Pooh is dead. Now, Pooh is risen." Princess

"E____, I love you this much" stretching her arms out as long as they will go. "E_____, I love you right up to the moon and back." Princess

"Mama, I love you and daddy and brother to the sky and back." Princess

Some rather unfortunate things I've heard:
"That's what she said." Thank you, The Office, for allowing this wonderful phrase in my husband's everyday speak. Ugh!

"Crap" said by Princess when daddy tried to stop himself from saying it after she "hopped on pop"ed him. He actually does not say this often, so he says, but she picked up on it anyhow.

What Pea typically looks like after eating...

A few things...

Just a list of things:

• Pea has started not wanting to go to bed at night, but it's never problematic, he just cries for a few minutes and then finally settles down. My thought is that he realizes he is becoming a boy and is not a baby anymore. He never actually cared to be rocked, except for when he was a tiny baby. Now he asks me to rock him, and he doesn't ask daddy to do it, just me.
• Pea doesn't want to try to walk down the stairs either. He wants, if at all possible, to be carried down the stairs. I think this is funny, because when Princess was his age, I was big with child, and she rarely got carried.
• Somehow or another I taught Princess how not to spit out her food for something else better to eat, but for the life of me, I don't know how to teach this to Pea. Though she is very picky now, she was less picky than he always has been. She liked variety, which is not necessarily true now.
• When we go to the store now, as in a bookstore, Princess will tell Pea that "mama said you could only look at one. No, finish that one." She is always mothering him and is usually kind, though you can imagine that this is not always true.
• Pea goes 300 mph, and Princess only goes 5 mph, meaning both that she has a great attention span and also that it takes her at least 3 times as long to obey or do something I ask her to do than it should. Pea has a short attention span and never stops moving.
• Pea likes to shriek loudly and hit anything in sight if he does not get his way. He is quick tempered. He reminds me of my dad, and even though I did not know my dad as a child, of course, he is like what I imagine my dad to have been when young. He is becoming more difficult and Princess is becoming more tame. I will not hold my breath for this tameness to be permanent however.
• Every Sunday night, we attend a life group from our church at the Fisher's house. The kids are watched by sitters, and I expectantly wait to learn something new that Princess has learned while there, mostly songs. She learned the Alligator song there, and this morning, she started singing, "Going on a bear hunt." It takes several weeks, but over time, she teaches these new songs to me and Daniel. They make us giddy with excitement. It is quite fun to see what someone else has taught her.
• I have started the Beth Moore "Esther" bible study (it's tough to be a woman), and it looks to be quite good. I need structured study, so I don't mind the extra time it takes to complete each lesson. The only problem is that I have to stay on track or I won't catch up at all.
• Having two kids has become less overwhelming, so if I had to, I think I could throw in a third.
• I love Lost, and since this is the first time it has been on since I started blogging, you will probably hear me talk about it sometime.
• Even when I complain about being unhappy or lonely, it is because I do not have time to process my thoughts and emotions until I write or because I've let them simmer, and mostly because I'm a sinner who doesn't always put God first where He is supposed to be. This is the happiest time of my life, and I loved college, but I am more fulfilled as a wife and mother.
• I am learning to walk in faith like those who have gone before me.
• Daniel is into basketball. He has 2 games this week. And he refs upward basketball on Saturdays. We like to go watch him, though trying to get Pea to sit still is entertaining (or frustrating depending on my frame of mind).
• Daniel, Princess, and Pea think I am the greatest thing on the earth, but I often don't know why. God sets the lonely in families, whether married or single. He is a good and gracious God never failing to be merciful and great.

Go Blog!

Okay, thanks to everyone who has left a comment telling me their opinion on whether I should quit blogging or not. Though there will probably be a lot of times when I don't have anything to say, I cannot quit blogging. I love it too much, and even when I open up myself wide open which is very scary to do, I don't know that I would find quite as much enjoyment if I just wrote it privately as I do publicly. Call me crazy that I like to martyr myself for your enjoyment and mine too. But, there is at least one that I write for so she can know more about this walk with the Savior I have. Maybe one day we will find time to sit down and have that conversation even though I am a little terrified.

Monkeys, Alligators, and Bathtime

You know I really do think my kids are one of the greatest things on earth, even though I might have implied otherwise in the other post today. I apologize for the poor quality of this video. We don't have a camcorder. My mom does, but it writes to the disk, and neither of us own the cable required to upload to the computer.

McWane pics

Pictures from the McWane Center today. We ran into Princess's best friend, CE, there. What a wonderful surprise! When we asked Princess what her favorite part was, she said, "Seeing CE."

Coke Zero - a poor imitation of the real thing

God has given me something to say once again...

Today we made another trek to the McWane Center since Daniel was off and our membership expires at the end of the month. On our way home, we stopped to eat lunch. Several people have mentioned that Coke Zero is wonderful and tastes as good as the real thing, so I decided to try it. At first it tasted a little like the real thing - the consistency of syrup to fizz was good, and it swirled around my mouth the same, but as it went down, it was obvious that it was not the real thing. All I could taste then was articifical sweeteners, which I have not forced myself to come to enjoy. It was, in my opinion, a poor imitation of the real thing, which got me to thinking about imitations and real things.

I came up with two thoughts. One, as Christians, we are to be imitators of Christ (Eph. 5:1), and I am a poor imitation of Him. Though I may look like the real thing, I am not Christ. Without submitting to Him to absolute control in my life, I may never even look like Him much less achieve anything close to the level of perfection that He is and was. On my own, I am nothing (John 15:5). Even though I'm a Christ-follower and I am not on my own, I still sin and fail, therefore, I still have the bitter aftertaste, instead of the sweet taste that only Christ can leave behind. We all need the one real thing that is Christ.

Here's the second thing: I have noticed that over the past year, maybe longer, I have been an imitator of the wrong things. I am without argument an extremely lonely person. I hunger and thirst for relationship. I have turned my gaze off of the One that could be my relationship fulfillment to seek fulfillment in others. I have not found that satisfaction in my husband, nor in children, nor in facebook, nor in bible studies, nor in mommy playgroups, nor in blogging (though I do love it), or anywhere else I can think to look. I have looked everywhere, but I remain in the pit of loneliness. Wanting to be in community with others is a godly desire, but it is a stumbling block of weakness that Satan has used to keep me locked in the pit, never finding my way out to the abundant life. I have worn pretty clothes and put on makeup and cut my hair and gone to dinners with women, all mainly to make myself more attractive and acceptable as a friend. And I have been driven to want more things, more than I would really want, because maybe if I had those things, I could fit in. And still, none of those things makes me a worthy approachable person that people want to befriend, and I never seem to befriend others either.

Last night, in life group, our lesson was on Eve. Basically, we learned that her sin was born out of an ungrateful heart, which is so where I am. I am not thankful for the husband I have. He is a great husband, and I could not ask for a better one, but I do, I ask for more. And I have two great kids, but Princess is strong willed and difficult and I want more. Pea is demanding, and I want more. I have a church home with bible studies and mommy groups, but I want more. I want to actually know the women there. I have some friends and many acquaintances, but I want intimate relationships. On the whole, one would not think that there is anything wrong with wanting better versions of the things that you have, but eternally, it is wrong, at least for me. These desires within me are evil because they bring me to sin. They have led me away from Christ and His perfect plan for me.

Though the world has made me feel unloved and unworthy through my lack of relationships, Christ says that I am loved and very valuable to Him. When I stop gazing on what I do not have and remember what I do have, I am humbled and repentant for not valuing my marital relationship and friendships like I should. I hope that one day, I will find myself grateful for this period of time, which may be for the rest of my life, when I did not have any intimate relationships and I learned to focus on Him alone. I know that I must hunger and thirst for Christ for only He can satisfy. He has led me into the fire, so that this imperfect imitation can be made perfect through Him.

1 Peter 1:3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Good bye?

Well, I am thinking about ending this blog, or at least making it private. I have been bored and thus boring lately with almost nothing to say, but bible study is starting back up on Tuesday which is sure to help provoke thought, so I'll just hang tight until then.

Next

Well, Daniel is having a guy's night and the kids are in bed, so I thought I would try to catch you up on this blog and get back in the blogging groove.

After New Year's, on Jan 2, we went to Princess's friend, CE's house to play. It was a lot of fun. Kim probably decided two kids would be too many when she saw the chaos of the Princess and the Pea and the workings of going to the potty while also managing a busy boy. Princess has been going potty very well at home, but in public, she forgets if I don't prod and she tends to disobey too. At home, she's great. I was thinking that I am going to have to put a note on the church form - "Put in timeout if will not cooperate about going to the potty. Thank you." Anyhow, we loved our time at CE's house and seeing her new toys. Thanks for having us over, CE!

On Jan 5th, it was life as usual. Daniel went to work, and we were at home. It was actually quite calm and fun compared to the busyness of December. I didn't leave the house from Sunday to Wednesday, and on Wed, we decided to go to my mom's. That day, Pea sat in a booster seat at a restaurant for the first time, which means he was not strapped in. He did well.

He and Princess also spur of the moment got to stay with my mom for the night. Unfortunately, I had not packed any clothing for them, but it was a rare opportunity for me to have some time with my husband. This was Pea's very first time to stay with Nana with just Princess, and Nana's first time to keep both kids by herself, which she was a little afraid of doing because Pea is a handful. But it worked great, or so she says. I am glad because Pea is a lot more spoiled than Princess is in regards to staying with mommy and daddy. Unfortunately for Princess, we had her brother who took up some of our time with her so she got to spend nights with her grandparents earlier in her life. But overall, Princess and Pea are good for one another, and I would not trade how we had them. I am learning the dance that is having two kids and becoming better each day.

Daniel, who was supposed to go to a meeting at church, grabbed ahold of our rare treat and skipped the meeting so we could go to the movies - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I liked this movie and would recommend it to anyone, although it was a little sad at points throughtout the movie. I cried several times, and even Daniel told me later, that at one point, he had a tear running down his face, and he rarely, if ever, cries at movies. But, I didn't hear anyone but me crying in the less than crowded theatre.

On Thursday, I was supposed to go to the Mommy Connection at church. This was a tough decision, because I dearly wanted to spend time with my mommy friends, but it was a rare opportunity to be able to do whatever all by myself too, so I ended up running some errands that would have been impossible to do with the kids. Perhaps, it sounds like I do not love my kids, but that is untrue. I love them dearly, but they are always with me, so it is nice to breath and remember that I do indeed love them. I got the kids back at lunch.

The next day, we went to a funeral for Daniel's uncle, and Pea developed a funny cough, so I took him to the doctor that afternoon. He has had a minor cold for a couple of weeks. It turns at that this was a new cold. He still was yucky on Sunday, so we went to grandmaw and papaw's house instead of church to keep him away from other kids. Last night, Daniel and Princess went to life group as usual, while I stayed home with Pea. He did not sleep well and was very sad this morning. Probably against my better judgment, we went to my friend, Kari's house, for a mommy/kid playdate today, and Pea was fine while we were there, but he has been sad since we've gotten home. I am hoping a good night's rest will see him much improved in the morning, and I wish he would want to cuddle with me when he's well like he does when he's sick. Poor cuddly bear!

Maybe my next post will be something thoughtful instead of life updates, until then...

When's Christmas?

This is the question I hear now at least once a day. I am sure I will hear it for a while, and it doesn't really bother me.

We had a lovely Christmas. Right before Christmas, I got in a conundrum about the whole Santa Claus issue. The whole thing with Santa is that I do not want to lie to my children about whether he is real, but I also want them to play along. I don't want them ruining some other child's Christmas beliefs, and a whole year had passed and we had never said to Princess, "Santa is a lie", but we never played him up. This year, I did explain to her that sometimes people pretend to be Santa to re-enact the legend of Saint Nick. The day before, after at least 20 random strangers had asked her what Santa was bringing her, she told me, "Santa isn't real." Now my mom would not be too happy to hear that, as we had Santa when I grew up (but that's probably one reason why I don't want my child to believe in Him as real.) Anyhow, I told her that he was not real, but that we could pretend, and play like he was, so this allowed her to still use her imagination, which I did not want to kill and made me happier about the whole Santa situation as well.

The kids got too much, but we had a blast this year. I love my kids. I love seeing them play together and hug and kiss and love one another. I love the yelling, the screaming, the fighting, everything about it, even though it does occasionally get on my nerves - for the most part, I love all the sounds of childhood. I had a man tell me that he loved to hear children, and that's what made me think of this - I love hearing my kids sing, laugh, even cry. And for some reason, they think I am the greatest thing on earth, and that's a wonderful feeling.

Princess got a dollhouse from us, and accessories from my mom and sister. She also got a Fancy Nancy doll, FN change of clothes, and a computer from her grandparents. Pea got a toolset and a boat from us, tons of trucks, cars, and balls from grandmaw/papaw, and a educational train toyset from Nana. He also got Tadoodle markers from my sister. There was more - I'm just giving the highlights. :) We actually celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve morning, and then went to the Harpers for Harper Christmas the rest of the day. We had Christmas breakfast at mom's and spend the day and night with her, Jenn, and Tanner, which was nice. And, it was nice to have Daniel at home for a little while.

Despite my encouragement not to buy too much, my mom and mother in law continue to compete to see who can give the most gifts. Actually, my mom stayed reasonable this year. Next year, maybe we will institute the three gifts from the three wise men rule. Since I do not foresee any changes in the future, I have started to embrace our culture's love of the excess, so I have lots of storage areas in the house now, but we continue to try to give our gently used treasures to those who actually need them.

Princess and I went to see Despereaux the Sat after Christmas and we loved it! It was only her second time to go to the movies.

There was more to the weekend, but that is actually not my story to tell, I just write this sentence for my own memory.

Monday, Daniel had to go back to work, but then he was off again Wed and Thurs for New Year's, so we went to the McWane Center for New Year's Eve. This was the second time in a week to go, and both times, we went altogether as a family. We had a blast both times. Then Daniel wanted to take us to Grump's Great Grill, which we all enjoyed. Later, we thought we would go to the Galleria to take the kids for a carousel ride for to celebrate New Year's with the kids, but we waited too late, so we went on New Year's Day.

(I don't have pictures from my mom's house - my sister has them on her camera.)