My Constant

Math and its constants and variables are what drove me to the idea that I could be an engineer.  Engineering involves math, albeit most of the time it is done by a computer these days.  I am no longer an engineer, but I still love equations.  I like when everything works out and there is a clear answer to the problem, such as x=2.  Rarely, life works out so clearly.

Lost is my all time favorite TV show, and two of the best episodes are titled, "The Constant" and "The Variable."  If you followed the show, you should know that the characters did some time travel, and if they cycled through time enough, there could be fatal consequences.  However each one could choose a constant (a particular person) between time frames that would save them from death when they thought of them or talked to them.  In the episode entitled "The Variable," we learned that the people and their choices are the variables.  If you didn't watch Lost, all this probably makes no difference to you, so here's the important thing:   

God is 

my constant.  

Everything else changes all the time.

My granny used to say that no matter what you could always count on your family.  Sometimes that's simply not true.  It is said that a friend is someone who knows everything about you and still loves you.  If so, a friend is rare indeed.  Sometimes, friendships change.

When my dad died, it was a change in events.  Though I no longer grieve him, I am still coming to terms with the way things are versus the way things might have been.  In reality, had my dad lived there would have been no certainty either.  I don't really own much that was my dad's - a few shirts, a tie, a engineering book or two that I cannot use.  He didn't have a will and so I inherited nothing.  All that he had became my mother's.  After 6 years, my mom has decided to move away from the home I grew up in.  I have no place to go back to for the memories.  No place to rest if I choose to visit his grave.  One day my grandparents who live there will die, and other than my cousin who chooses to raise her family there, I will have no one to visit there.  I cannot change any of these things.

Behind the scenes of this blog, sometimes there are real life events going on that I feel like I cannot talk about.  I am not supposed to be sad.  As a child I was not supposed to feel.  This came more from my dad's family than my mom's but I often put on the tough girl persona in front of my mom because I am supposed to feel happy and glad that she is moving on.  I am hard and stone faced, and the the sadness that I feel, I cannot show.  I am tired of carrying the anger and resentment that I feel when I think about the lies.  I cannot change the variables.  I cannot make the choices.

but, God...

He has never left me nor forsaken me.

He is always good.

He always works in my favor.

despite my sin, despite my shame, despite my pain.

His Son covers me.  The despicable me is covered in the blood shed by my sweet Jesus.  It has made me white.  Father God sees Jesus instead of me now.

He is

My Constant

never changing.  He is God! 
 

"When people make promises, they guarantee them by appeal to some authority above them so that if there is any question that they'll make good on the promise, the authority will back them up. When God wanted to guarantee his promises, he gave his word, a rock-solid guarantee—God can't break his word. And because his word cannot change, the promise is likewise unchangeable."  Hebrews 6:16-18 (The Message).

I am so glad that when everything seems to be changing all the time, HE is NOT!