Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A day

I haven't done a real life post lately, so today I'm going to.  I haven't been to bible study in 3 weeks.  My little Doodlebug was sick today and last week I just needed a break.  The day started out well.  I am doing the South Beach Diet and lost 5 pounds in a week, so I was excited about that.  And then I emailed some ladies, and felt pretty good about that.  But that's about the highlights of the day.

And let's be clear, it's not as though the day has really been bad.  It's just been frustrating.  Nothing I've tried to do has worked out very well, from going to the pharmacy to talking on the phone or eating food.  I prayed before the day went in the opposite direction that God would touch and speak directly to me today.  I felt a quietness in my heart and soul, and I wanted to experience His quiet touch in response.  The day is not over, so I am hoping to feel His touch in some way before it is over.  I am a girl, so I'll let you figure out what this means in relevance to this post, but let's just say that the fact that I am a girl has not helped my day today.

The fact that I've been secluded here at home due to cold season doesn't help anything either.  And by secluded I just mean I've not been to bible study and been around other women - a thing that is most vital to my emotional well being and health.  These are the days made of weakness, when sin lurks just underneath the surface, a lack of patience is clear, and I am aware of my limitations and how closely I identify with the human race and not my Savior.  The bible says however that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and in my weakness He is made strong.  In truth a piece of me wants to run into a cave and hide and stay there for a few days, maybe longer, but He tells me to let my light shine.  {Little light comes out of a cave, by the way.}

So instead I write because maybe in my writing He strengthens me and it lights the way for someone else feeling frustration.

An excerpt of one moment of the day:
I wait in carpool line to drop my son off at preschool.  I turn around to unbuckle him, and when I look around I scream an unexpected scared scream because the car in front of me is backing into me, or so I think.  I see the women in the car in front of me react immediately to my scream.  I watch as the car in front drives forward, then a woman gets out and inspects her tail end.  She looked older and already tired from the day.  I roll my window down a little feeling on edge and wait for the woman to speak to me.  The woman inspects the rear of her car and looks at the front of my car.

The woman speaks, "I don't see any damage.  Did we hit?"

I say, "I don't think so, though I screamed because you were backing into me."

"No, I didn't back up.  This is a rental car.  It's a Toyota Prius.  I wasn't backing up.  I mean it's a piece, but I wasn't backing up."  the woman says.

I look at the red, pristine, car in front of her and wonder why it's being a rental car has anything to do with anything, and then I look back to the woman again.

"I mean I was not backing up." she says again.

I look at her, "Well, I didn't feel a bump so I guess we are good," but I began thinking to myself, "Either I was moving or you were backing up and I wasn't moving, was I?"

The woman gets back into her red Prius and moves forward. I move along carpool line as is normal never knowing exactly what just happened.

And I've had a series of these type of interactions today, not really knowing if they are interruptions or divine appointments.  I wait for the Lord to redeem the day knowing that He can and will.

Just as I was about to hit publish, an unexpected word of encouragement.  How like the Lord!

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