Life

I had another post written for yesterday, but got shy and decided not to share it quite yet.  So I just thought I would say hey and chat about, well, whatever comes to mind.

DoodleBug has started walking.  She walks across the room and likes to be upright, but she can still crawl faster than either the tortoise or the hare, and will choose to do that sometimes instead.  Today she has a fever.

Daniel has been working overtime the entire month.  It is weird and strange and normal at the same time, and it seemed easy for him to get up an extra hour earlier.  But his time with us is less and the evenings are rushed and hurry, even more so than before.  It is my duty, which I only sometimes achieve, and sometimes my delight to make sure I have dinner prepared before he comes home to ease this rush of the evening.  The kids and I had gone out of town, and D had done the grocery shopping to grill hamburgers.  He felt the pressure of the evening rush since he was now the cook last night.

Princess is happy and anxious.  Her anxiety about starting school comes in the form of an occasional attitude.  But she and Speed Racer have become best friends.  Their imaginations run wild and though she, not he, rarely uses toys; their play is full force, head strong all day long.  I miss the days when I got to play too.  He will miss her so much in the fall when school starts.  Now it seems I simply watch them as I fold the laundry or put the dishes away and wonder where and how they will let me into the playing.  She only 5, and he soon to be 4, how did this happen already, I wonder?  At least, I have decided to bring them into the folding of laundry and the putting away of dishes, and maybe, just maybe, time slows for those moments.

And I, I am lazy when it comes to beauty.  Hardly ever wearing makeup, not wanting to shave my legs.  I am anxious about the end of summer.  I am working on a project, a writing project, which excites and thrills me and scares me.  Just like Daniel's, my writing could be time away from my sweeties.  I feel it is a call from God to do this project and I find it a delight.  I am excited, but I wax and wane excitement when it tugs from my family.  But part of the growing up is the letting go.  I held on too tightly in the past sometimes, so there is freedom in this too.  Funny how life is so full of the bitter and the sweet, as if, every moment, every thing in all of life was both bitter and sweet.  Like Christ's death for example.

I have received grace, a grace more graceful than any other past grace.  A grace less of works and full of freedom.  True grace.  And in the grace, some of my struggles are waning.  I accept that some things that I do not yet understand just are, and though the struggle and ache are still there, I hope.  I have more constant friends now.  My idea of friendship has evolved hopefully for the better.  And I think, and I hope, that at least in some sense, I am calmer, peaceful, more at ease in who I am, what I've been given, and what God is doing.  I am on a bit of a mountain top high and dread the valley low again.  But I am thankful for this breath.  This moment.  This now.

Family Update

I am really behind on family updates, so I thought I would catch up on them.

First of all, my baby DoodleBug has turned 1, and she is already 13 months at that.  So here are some party pics.  You know I love owls, so we had an owl birthday party.

Next comes Easter:

Princess's preschool graduation:

Dad

Six years ago, my dad had a massive heartache and passed away suddenly. He was in New Orleans on a business trip at the time, and I was the first person from our family to find out what had happened to him. I was the one who talked to the doctor and then had to tell the rest of my family members. I don't really talk about my dad much on this blog out of respect for him and for others who are still grieving him. My college English teacher once told me that you cannot write about your parents until they have passed from this life into the next life because not until then can you fully be free to explore your thoughts and put them on paper.  I would suggest that you are never fully free to write about those closest to you unless you are ready to deal with the potential consequences.  I am not completely there.  But I wanted to try, so this is my attempt. Please if you are a family member, and it causes you pain, do not read this.

Before my dad passed on, I had never had someone close to me die. At the time, all of my grandparents were alive. Since then, my granny has passed. Death can be mysterious. Being a spiritual person, I had many questions for God - most of which could not be answered. Or they could be answered but God left them unanswered for me then and now. Whatever the answers are or were, they are no longer relevant because daddy is no longer here.  Because I had been hoping to see change in my dad's life, I spent more time grieving while my daddy was alive than after he died.  Through his death and in spite of the unanswered questions, I made peace with God.  His presence or the presence of angels were unmistakable during my dad's death.  God is faithful to those who love him, and that time was no different.

I miss my dad.  I wish my dad could see my sweet children.  I wonder what he would think about my mischievous son, my dreamy daughter, and my baby who looks so much like him.  Would he laugh at the crazy things they say?  Or would they drive him completely crazy?  My dad was well known for his temper - that would be no surprise to anyone that knew him, and little kids in restaurants were not his favorite things.  I wonder if my monsters would have been different.  Would he love that Speed Racer can be just as passionate with his emotions as he was?  Would he think that I was teaching him well?  Would he be proud of me as a mom?  I wish that I could hear his voice again, especially to sit next to him in church and hear him singing.  Perhaps, he sings in heaven.  He had a great voice.  I miss his hugs.  He had the most giant of all the hugs in the world.  And a laugh to swallow you whole.  He was an intelligent man.  I think he was mostly misunderstood and probably bored sometimes at what life had to offer.  But I loved to talk "smart talk" with him about the Bible and math.  I would like to think that I could give him plenty to think about were he still here now.  One of his passions was studying Revelations and trying to figure out the puzzle of it all - while we are still wondering, perhaps, he's seen the answer of what is to come.  As much as I miss my daddy, I no longer grieve my daddy.  I do not understand why he died so early.  And I get sad when I miss him, but I no  longer hold onto him.  I have let him pass from my hand here to God's hand in eternity.  His memory lives on in my heart and in the hearts of those who loved him.  I love you, dad.

Easter family photo

How Marvelous

This has been a long week. I am sick, though really only slightly sick compared to almost everyone else I know. My mom is sick and has been to the doctor for the second time, and she's still not better after shots and medicines galore. My hubby has been sick, but is thankfully now on the up and up. Princess was only slightly sick a couple of weeks ago and has a little lingering cough every now and then.

Speed Racer has an ear infection and is on an antibiotic that has messed up his stomach and has given us fits with diaper changing time. He actually goes to the potty most of the time, but with all the sudden needs to go, we put him back in diapers for a while. He cries in pain every time because he is so sore. And he has had a continuous cough. On Thursday I was so worried about him - his cough sounded bad and there was nothing to do for it. The medicine was not working and he sounded slightly croupy. I called the nurse and she said to give honey for the cough. Now little ones cannot take anything more than honey or Delsym so we just had to listen to him suffer. The nurse reminded us of a few other things to do for him like running the humidifier at night, standing him in the cold night air, and standing him in a hot moist shower. We got his room as moist as we could before bedtime by running the humidifier and for the first time all week, we all slept all night long without being up for a few hours listening to him suffer and cough. The honey, by the way, said to be proven to work better than Delsym now, only succeeded in choking him. That same day, probably due to the stress, I was having regular contractions and thought I might be having a baby that day or the next one. As we slept though, they disappeared and all was well, I suppose.

Yesterday, was a beautiful sunshiney day, and we all got out in the weather and went to Dawson Baptist church's Easter festival. The fresh air helped Speed Racer's cough, and finally for the first time in a week or more, he ate a substantial amount of food.

Despite all these things and waiting on a new baby to come into our family and knowing that these are not ideal conditions for bringing a baby home to, I woke up with a song in my heart, and I thought I would share:

As Cute As It'll Get

I have not posted much about my pregnancy on here, but recently the general public seems to think the belly is cute, so I thought I would post some pics. I do not feel cute, and seeing as how I am only 28 1/2 weeks, I don't think I will be getting any cuter, since I am big enough as it is, but in case you wanted to know, here you go...

Your Favorite Verse?

So after reading Suzanne's story about her granddaddy Vernon, I got curious about my family's favorite verses or the things in the bible that spoke to them most. It is no mystery to me what my granny's favorite verse was: Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will set your paths straight." I was able to memorize it simply from hearing it so many times from her. Of all my family members, she is the one who continually talked about her faith in God and reminded us of Him and His ways at all times.

I have no idea what verses my PaPa likes. Now that he is disabled, I don't even know if he has continued to read his bible or even if anyone reads it to him from time to time.

And my grandmother and pa both served in the church and love God, but rarely have I heard them speak of His relationship in their lives, so I know little about each of their favorite verses either. I'm curious as to whether I would find out more in their bible as Suzanne mentioned she had discerned about her granddaddy from his well-worn bible.

So I am determined to find out people's favorite bible verses and why? I am on a mission to find this out.

I guess I don't have one favorite, but I have a few that I have clung to or have been known for sharing over and over again:

1 Timothy 1:7 - For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self control.

Matthew 6:33 - Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

1 Corinthians 10:31 - So whatever you do, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Matthew 22:37,29 - Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as yourself.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and will bring you back from captivity.

To me, each one of these verses say the say thing in a different way: God is a good God and there is no other, and our lives are supposed to be lived in a such a way that the world sees Him in us.

So, what is your favorite verse and why?

Stones of Remembrance 2009

As we end 2009 and begin 2010, I thought it would be a good idea to remember what God has done this year in me and in my family.  If I don’t remember, I will be as fickle as an Israelite and will begin to grumble and complain.  I too need stones of remembrance (see Joshua 4:1-9), so that is what this list is:  Stones of Remembrance for 2009.

1. I got to do the Beth Moore Esther study and learned so much about God’s perfect plan for each of us, His providence, and His perfect timing.
2. I learned that as a child of God, I am His royalty – a princess.
3. God reiterated over and over that He alone is the one who meets our needs and He enjoys and wants to do it.
4. Speed Racer went to the dentist for the first time and did great.
5. Daniel and I celebrated the fact that we have been married for 5 years and survived thus far.
6. Speed Racer moved from a crib to a toddler bed.
7. Every day more and more, God became the friend that I needed.  He was my provision in my loneliness:   He was the mother I wanted and the best friend I wanted and the mentor I wanted.  He met my needs not physically, but with Himself.
8. The kids enjoyed dancing and singing and learning to praise.
9. Daniel and I experienced more time together, and the kids visited their grandparents more.
10. Princess became an artist, learning to draw more and more things.
11. We got new hardwood floors in the living and dining room areas.
12. Princess learned to swim.
13. I learned how to lean more on God through bible memorization, although I slacked off during the last part of the year.
14. I began to finally see a breakthrough in Princess’s behavior.  We learned some physical ailments and saw a remarkable change in her.
15. We took both of our children to Vail, AZ, and survived the plane rides and trips, and saw God work in miraculous ways in getting me there and in using us while we were there.
16. Speed Racer turned 2!
17. I facilitated a women’s bible study over the summer, and then again in the fall.  I was blessed to be able to form deeper relationships through both of those studies and see God at work in others lives and in my own.
18. God worked in my hard heart about some bitterness I had for an old friend.
19. Princess started preschool.
20. Princess finally completed her potty training for good, with the exception of night training, which she is not physically able to do yet (and this is perfectly normal via our pediatrician.)
21. We are expecting our 3rd child and have seen God’s hand at work in our baby already.
22. I began talking regularly to an accountability partner and friend, which helped fill the void I have for friendships.  We continue to pray for several things over and over again, but we’ve seen God answer prayers and meet needs through the things we’ve prayed over. 
23. I became more involved with the ladies at church and although, I still crave more intimate friendship, that too filled some of the friendship void.
24. Princess turned 4!
25. I cried and I prayed and I struggled, but God heard.  God helped me to see how RICH we are – in material and in emotion and in spirit.  He has shown up every time I’ve had an emotional need or a spiritual need or even a physical need.
26. My sister graduated from nursing school!

Congratulations, Nursing Grad!!

This post is overdue.  Two Thursdays ago (12/10/09), my sweet sister, Jennifer, graduated from nursing school.  My mom and I headed to Montgomery to see her get pinned from Troy-Montgomery school of nursing.  First we went to dinner with her and Tanner, and then we headed to the ceremony.  One thing I noticed about most of the graduates is that almost all of them had  to sacrifice a lot to graduate nursing.  Many were married.  Many were parents.  Knowing that my own sister has sacrificed many a hour studying and preparing, I knew that each one had their own story of pain and sacrifice.  I was inspired that so many would feel called to nursing, because that’s the sense that I got – these men and women were called.  Of course, I know that’s not the case for all of them.

My own sister started nursing school so many years ago.  But life happens.  When she started our family was in a strange transitional place that was difficult for all of us.  In the midst of it, my dad died.  Soon after, my sister dropped out and became a bank teller for a while.  God would not let her just walk away from nursing, however, because her co-workers kept encouraging her to go back to school.  Then she got married.  And then back to school she went.  She had ups and downs, but she struggled through despite all of the difficulties.  Though there were times when I think she wanted to give up, she kept going.  Her perseverance paid off, and now, she is a nursing graduate, and she is on her way to being a nurse.  She has already found a job!  This post is to you, my sweet sister!  I am more proud of you than you will ever know.  And, I know daddy and granny would be proud of you.  Most of all, I believe God is very proud of you too.

My sister, Jenn, (in the white scrubs) and her sister in law, Tara

Me, Jenn, and my mom

Jenn and her husband, Tanner

The graduating class

A New Bed

In preparation for the new baby, we bought Princess and Speed Racer twin beds off of craigslist, so that the new baby could use the bed that Princess used to sleep in.  Daniel picked them up Tuesday night after our CFA celebration.  Last night after bible study I went to buy some sheets for the beds.   Tonight we set up Princess’s new bed.  She was super excited about getting a new bed and new sheets.  Now, she is truly in a “big girl” bed.  We did not have time to set up Speed Racer’s bed right away, but he was very excited too.

Here’s some pics of Princess in her bed for the first time:

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Some News

So I have told my facebook friends already, so I guess I should announce it to you, because some of you only know me on this blog. We are expecting another baby! I wish I had a creative way to tell you, but alas, this is it! The baby is due in April.

Hello again.

Hi!

I have been one little busy bee. I can't even remember what I blogged about last, other than the "Praying for Their Footsteps."

So I'll just start somewhere. We went to the beach with my mother and father in law the first week of June. I meant to post some pics, but posted them to my facebook instead. I'll try to post a couple on here as well. We had a great time.

Last week, we had Vacation Bible School at our church. I taught the 2's and 3's. This is my third year to teach that class, AND I teach it every other Sunday at church, so I am kinda comfortable teaching this age now. I know to expect the crying, the potential potty accidents, and all of that fun stuff. Princess was in my class. We had a lot of fun. It was Thursday when she finally came out of her shell as she tends to be quiet and reserved at church around "new" kids. Thursday was also the day when all of our missions team prayed specifically for Princess. Wow! Prayer is awesome, because that was an awesome Princess day! ;) I had a max of 11 kids and a min of 9 kids. I co-taught, and we had a teenage helper. I really loved being around the kids. Even though I was busy teaching and managing them, I was really able to enjoy them this year too. I'm not sure my enjoyment showed, but I did nevertheless. :)

Friday evening, I got to Ross Bridge for a girl's night away from home. Actually most of the girl's spent a weekend away. I stayed until very late on Saturday night, so it was almost a whole weekend away. I had so much fun getting to know these women better and just chilling and laughing and talking and listening, and especially playing in the pool and sliding. I am so much more comfortable being me as an adult - how I pray that Princess will not be as awkward as I always was. She is so much like me at times. I was very tired today after VBS and since I had very little sleep from the weekend, but I am so glad that I went with the girls.

Princess is doing much better physically, and I am very excited about that. We go to the doctor again on Thursday.

On another note, I will be having a biopsy on Friday, so please keep me in prayer.

We are also trying to get busy preparing for our mission trip which is quickly approaching. We are so excited!!

I am doing the Summer Siesta Bible study, and I have formed a small group. Please let me know if you are in any way interested in joining us!! It starts on Thursday the 25th, and we will meet every other week for a total of 4 times.

ALSO, we are without air conditioning, and we have been for almost 2 weeks now!! Hopefully it will be back on soon.

Summer is VERY busy, so I don't know how well I will do with blogging, because we are on the run a lot, but I will attempt to write some more thoughts soon.

New Floors and updates

I am loving my new floors. Ladies and Gents, I got new hardwood floors and that nasty old carpet is gone. I can be proud of my home once again and stop stalking the housing websites every so often, because mine is home once again. This week was a busy one. On Monday, we got new floors in the foyer, living, room, hall, and dining room. How I wish you could come over and enjoy them with me. I totally rearranged the dining room, and feel like I have a whole new lease on life. Amazing what a little clean spot can do for you.

Wednesday, Princess had her last swimming lesson, and the kids and I headed to the beach with my mom and sister. We stayed at Orange Beach, and I don't have any pics, because the weather was not ideal. I couldn't wrangle the kids in the freezing water and take pics of them too. :( Princess really took off in the pool. During the lessons, she was not near as confident, but with me, she was a fish, totally confident and swimming mostly on her own. I am a proud mama. Pea on the other hand had forgotten about the pool and was a little skittish this year compared to last year. We stayed on the beautiful beach in a beautiful, spacious condominium, and I got to sleep in a king bed with both of my babies. I was so tired that I probably did not appreciate the sleeping with the kids like I should have. I greatly missed my teammate and all things the better half of me, my hubby, Daniel. I've got it good - I've got it real good to have him as my partner and friend. We had fun hanging out with mom and Jenn and eating seafood and shopping. We got home yesterday.

After church today, I put together some quiet time bins that I saw on Keeper of the Home. I am really excited about getting to use them on Tuesday. The new floors have really helped me organize, and the house feels so spacious. The kids are sharing a bedroom, and life is all coming together. I mean Princess is still a drama queen, and Pea is still a whirlwind of motion, but I'm figuring it out, slowly but surely... :)

Wearing it Again!

It is a rarity that Princess is able to wear anything two years in a row, but here is one such dress:

Aug. 17, 2008

April 19, 2009

She is showing that she has a matching doll dress, with Gracie her favorite doll.

The Sick Attire

When you are throwing up sick in our home, there is a uniform you must wear. It looks like this:

It is one of daddy's T-shirts. It is Princess's standard attire for when she gets sick. In fact, she used to get worried if we tried to put a regular t-shirt on her for fear that she was sick and didn't know it. Anyhow, a girl does have to dress things up a bit, despite being sick - so she added the feather boa to give it some style.

My Little Artist

I have failed to mention it, but Princess has developed into quite the little artist. She is very good at coloring, and she can draw quite well too. She can also look at something and copy it when she draws. I thought I would share some examples of her latest artwork with you. Most of them are bunnies that she drew on her own or by looking at a bunny picture. Currently, artistry is one of her favorite activities. I guess she gets her talents from my mom or Daniel's mom, because they are both artists as well.

Old Mother Hen

I would have to say that sleep is high on my list of priorities, but last night I got very little of it. I had trouble going to sleep due to some family stuff, and then a few hours later I awoke to what sounded like the roof blowing off and trees hitting the house. Hubby told me to go back to sleep. Considering the conversation we had a couple of days ago, I found this strange. I said I valued sleep oh the most in college, and he said that he valued people more in college meaning he stayed up if he wanted to. I guess I was boring, but I really love to sleep.

But here I was awake worrying about my babies who were sleeping upstairs closer to the trees while I was downstairs with hubs. It is just times like these when I am very glad that Hubby and I sleep in a king size bed. I got up to watch the weather to see that we were under a high wind advisory. No kidding! I went back to bed, but I just could not stand it. Hubby finally told me to bring the babies down, so I did immediately carrying each one totally asleep and putting both in the bed with us. Too bad for me that they both took up all the space and that I had like an inch left. :) It seemed that as soon as I placed them in the bed, the wind died away, and they continued to snore away. Eventually, I picked each one up and toted them back to their own beds, though I was so relieved to have them in the bed with me during the storm.

No, they are not afraid of storms, and generally, I am not either. However, with them being upstairs, they felt like an eternity away from me if something were to happen like a sudden tornado. Call me silly, but I have to protect my sweet babies. I couldn't help but thinking about the old mother hen story I learned in a past Beth Moore study. The hen covered her chicks with her protective wing while she died in a fire, but the chicks kept tightly under her wing survived. I felt like that old protective hen last night. Luckily the circumstances were hardly as dire.

Random updates

Well, Sunday was a snow day. I did not take a single picture of it. At first, the kids hated it. They hated the snow on their hands and their hands freezing over. I thought, man, they are just like me. But after church they warmed up to the idea and got cold for a while with daddy while I grilled some sandwiches and made some soup to warm them up. :) As I write today, there is still a snowman in a yard down the street, but otherwise, the snow melted on Sunday. I wish I had taken pictures, but by the time, lunch was over, the snow was gone. It was beautiful. We kept the kids at church and got to watch it coming down.

Pea does not appear to be getting better, but I am hoping for a surprise and that the antibiotic is doing something. Today I went to take some trash out to the can. Pea and I had just finished putting the can out by the road, and I went in to drop Pea off and get trash to take back out. I closed the front door behind me and went to the curb. Before I knew it, Pea opened the front door and walked out the glass door too onto the front porch. He was about to come down the steps to get me when I saw him. I was so surprised to see him outside!! He feels so badly today, he wanted to be right by my side at all times.

I was teaching Princess to read and write. The material we started with put Princess in a funk, so I stopped and looked for a different approach, so we've been doing a workbook approach. She is doing SO good, and now she looks forward to it each day, even the writing, which she hated before. Today we began to learn how to use scissors. I am so proud of her. We have been having so much fun lately. I guess we are in a good phase right now. :)

Married for 5 Years

Today is our 5 year anniversary.

We've had a lot of changes in those years.

Two kids.

From one dog to none.

My dad passed away.

All of the wedding party minus one has gotten married.

Daniel's brother was in a serious motorcycle accident.

My granny passed away.

We've learned a lot of patience and grace for one another.

We've been from one home group to now another home group.

Same church.

Same God.

Many more hopeful years together with Him in the midst.

My turn

It is my turn to be sick again. Pea is sick also, and Princess is okay for now. I am ready for warmer weather and cold season to be gone.